If it feels confusing...

Leave it alone

Kandie and I were talking a few days ago and she was telling me about this guy she just met. We’ll call him Dex.

They met sometime last year and have been in touch ever since, and she’s starting to really like him but here’s the thing– she’s not sure how he feels about her. On some days, she feels like “oh, he likes me”, but on other days, she thinks “nahh, I was tripping”. It just gets confusing with him.

Me, I sha know that I’m not in the best position to give relationship advice because my love life is inexistent. 😭🤲🏽

However, I told her that “if it feels confusing, leave it alone. At least until it no longer does".

And that interaction got me thinking.

I think that everything feels so calculated these days and it’s tiring. You’re not texting them today because you texted them yesterday and they’re yet to respond. Why does it have to be so hard? And you sef, when they text you, respond nau. 😂😭

I mean, relationships are not perfect and aladat, but I don’t believe that love should be confusing. Maybe it will come with questions and awkward pauses. But I don’t think it should feel like mental gymnastics. I think love should be easy. I think that it should be smooth, at the very least.

Personally, I don’t want a love that makes me second-guess myself every other day. I want one that feels calm. Steady. Certain.

I don’t know sha. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe love is meant to be complicated. But until proven otherwise, I’m choosing peace. If it feels confusing, I’ll take my slippers and go home until you’re ready.

I think clarity is kindness, and if someone cannot offer clarity, maybe what they’re offering isn’t love. Maybe it’s just attention.

So maybe my advice still stands.

If it feels confusing, leave it alone. At least until it no longer does.